The Lynx Deception

Posted: June 20, 2013 in โœ‰๏ธ To whom it may concern

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To whom it may concern at Lynx,

I started using your product around two years ago after seeing a very exciting and inspiring tv commercial. It was the one where hundreds of fit, highly attractive, long haired beautiful women are running through the forest and swimming through the ocean in a race to get to one guy standing on the beach spraying himself with two cans of Lynx.

The slogan at the end read ‘Spray more, get more’.

This seemed like a sound investment. At the very least just attracting one beautiful woman would be one more than I had ever attracted before, so I had nothing to loose.

Fast forward two years and I must admit, I have not had even a fraction of the attention from the opposite sex as that lucky guy in the advert.

I have tried all types of things to try and assist the process.
I have tried different fragrances in the Lynx range. I have tried using more than one fragrance at a time. I even tried what your advert suggested and sprayed more. One time I sprayed so much that it was intoxicating, the last thing I remember before passing out from the fumes was a metallic taste in the back of my throat.

I’m not going to lie to you and say there has not been a hint of improvement in my social interactions. I have had one and a half dates in the last two years. I say half because unfortunately one of them had to leave half way through the date due to a “personal issue”.
However none of them looked anything like the women in the commercial. Far from it, I can send you pictures of them if you need proof.

Seeing as my only reason for using your product was to obtain a woman that’s aesthetically pleasing to me like the women in the advert, this venture has become a huge disappointment and a waste of time and money.

I’m not sure what else I can do, I’ve tried everything but nothing appears to be working. If there is nothing that you can suggest, a reimbursement at the cost of a can of Lynx a week for the last two years would be a suitable way to compensate me.

Please help.

Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sebastian Bowen.

Lynx Response

Dear Sebastian,

Thank you for your recent email. I was sorry to hear that you were unhappy with the Lynx Body Attract Male you bought recently.

We are really sorry that you felt this product wasn’t up to the quality you expected. We design our products to appeal to most consumers and undertake thorough research before they are launched, so it’s disappointing to hear that you weren’t happy with the product.

We welcome all consumer feedback – both positive and negative – as it helps us to improve our products. I will pass your comments on to our Product Development team.

Thank you for taking the trouble to contact us,I am sorry but we will not be able to reimburse you for every can you have purchased,However if you would kindly send me your contact details I would be pleased to send you a goodwill gesture.

Kind regards,

Gail Colquhoun
Careline Advisor

My Response

Hello Gail,

Thank you for responding to my email. I was beginning to think that you hadn’t received it.

I appreciate you passing on my comments to the product development team, I’m not sure how they will be able to help, but it’s worth a try.
If they are open to suggestions, I would be more than happy to throw in my two cents worth. One thing that comes to mind straight away off the top of my head is a fragrance that smells of fresh new shoes. Women love shoes ergo…..you get the idea. Please let me know if they will be willing to put this into production.

Also on a side note, I had the pleasure of visiting Africa recently and It did not smell like Lynx had suggested. I found this very disorientating and confusing at first but was able to digress and enjoy my holiday eventually. Besides, Africa is a big place, what part of Africa is your fragrance supposed to represent?

I was disappointed to read that I wouldn’t be reimbursed for the total amount I have spent on your products. However I am intrigued, and I shamefully love surprises too much to not accept your offer of a goodwill gesture. I have included my address at the top of the page.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Thank you,

Sebastian Bowen.

Lynx sent me

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Thank you.

Sebastian Bowen.
The Fishtank Podcast.

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