The Rant! ๐Ÿ˜ก #13: Picking a Winner

Posted: February 27, 2015 in ๐Ÿ˜ก The Rant!
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This rant is long overdue.

Every morning I am forced to endure the constant torment that is London public transport. If that wasn’t bad enough, most days I find myself sitting or more than likely standing next to some guy picking his nose.

Firstly let me start by saying that this problem is not restricted to men, I have seen women doing it to. I thought that this was a dirty habit that people grew out of by the age of three, in fear of being teased by fellow pre-school classmates. Well thatโ€™s how it was in my day. If you got caught picking your nose nobody would associate with you. My social circles were filtered even back then.

People have come up with so many different elaborate ways of extracting their slimy emerald nasties. Some are blatant with it, some try to be sneaky with it assuming you don’t know what they are up to.

Recently I was unfortunate enough to sit opposite a guy who was so brazen with it. He was knuckle deep into his nostril before I had to say something to him. It was making me feel sick, I needed him to stop so I opened my bag and offered him a spoon. He looked at me as if wanted to shoot me. He was clearly embarrassed and stopped what he was doing immediately. Result! Feel free to use that one, it works every time.

Then you have the eaters, the ultimate level of gross. This is not uncommon either I can honestly say I witness this on a daily basis. Again some of them are covert about it but others don’t give a damn. They will chew on that mucus like its a fresh stick of gum. In some ways though eating it is better, because it means they are not flicking it or wiping it on the seat.

The scientific term for picking your nose is rhinotillexis and the term used for eating it is mucophagy. Scientist argue that there are some benefits to eating nasal mucus, but I am not entertaining that theory, the very thought of doing it makes me want to heave.

If you are one of those people that enjoys picking their nose, please do it in the comfort of your own home. Nobody needs to see that.

Sebastian Bowen.

The Fishtank Podcast.

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