Sour Tales ๐Ÿ„ #03 Feb 2013

Posted: October 4, 2015 in ๐Ÿ„ Sour Tales

In every company there are people who love a cup of tea or coffee. In every company somebody is responsible for buying the milk for those beverages. Milk is not free so everybody needs to donate. One man has made it his business to make sure you do, and his name is, The Soulless Bureaucrat, and these are his Sour Tales. 

Hello All

Could you all please pay the ยฃ2 for the month of February at your earliest convenience?

If you no longer wish to be a member please send me an email.

The Milk club is under serious threat!

The milk is being lain siege to by milk thieves. People have been using the milk without paying for it.

These are people with little or no social conscience. They may rationalise their thefts by believing it to be a โ€˜freeโ€™ service.

You may be able to identify them, as a milk thief will likely be decidedly ugly.

This is due to their withered souls having ravaged their faces.

The thefts have been substantial and may cripple the financial solvency of the fund.

If these thefts are not abated the cost of membership will need to rise.

The real price of liberty (of drinking milk) is eternal vigilance.

Note: It is important to re-tie the knot after use (ensuring that the bag covers the lid) as a means of preventing โ€˜milk pilferingโ€™, which is the single greatest threat to milk solvency.

It is the duty of every milk club member to ensure the security of milk.

Some people have had difficulty in tying the carrier bag around the bottle in a secure way.

If this persists I will have to introduce a mandatory bag tying training seminar; failure to complete training will result in cancellation of membership. 

In lead up to your training I have included a short tutorial video, I suggest you watch it at your earliest convenience.

Another major threat to solvency is cereal eating. Anyone caught doing this will have their membership immediately terminated. Eat Cheerios at your own risk.

The milk club is for drinkers of beverages, which require the addition of milk, only. Cereal eaters should buy their own milk separately or use water.

Kind regards,

The Soulless Bureaucrat

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