To whom it may concern at Currys & PC World,

I have long been a fan of technology and reserve at least a few hours a month to check out the latest gadgets on offer. However over the last year I have noticed that my local Curry’s/PC World appears to be struggling. 

For example, recently my old crappy printer eventually stopped working. Actually it stopped working after I smashed it to bits with a hammer for consistently jamming on me. 


I recently wanted to purchase a new colour printer/scanner that was able to print double-sided. I needed to be sure about a few of the specifications before completing my purchase so I asked for some assistance at the counter. 

I was told somebody will be with me in a moment. I assumed that this would be a five minute wait followed by a five minute conversation with a sales assistant and then I would be on my way home printing counterfeit money in no time.  

It didn’t take me too long to realise that I was going to be waiting much longer than five minutes. 


You see, I wasn’t the only one waiting for assistance, there were 7 of us in total. I am a patient person so I waited, and waited, and waited some more, and after 25 minutes a member of staff became available. 

You might assume the reason for the long delay was because your store was extremely busy that day and your staff were rushed off their feet and doing all they could to attend to all of the requests made by the demanding customers, but you would be wrong. In fact there were less than 15 customers in the whole store but the problem was there were only two members of staff on duty and one of those members of staff was stuck behind the till.


In a store as cavernous as yours, it is ridiculous to think that two members of staff would ever be adequate, especially when customer queries can last up to fifteen minutes per person. 

Unfortunately the lady behind the counter received a torrent of abuse from angry customers that had had enough of waiting around to speak with somebody. I have never seen anything like it. I did feel sorry for her, she looked like she had been severely battered with words.

One customer was picking up a repaired PC. He asked the lady at the counter for a bag to put it in, so he could carry it home. That suddenly turned into a huge fiasco that would have fitted perfectly in an episode of Faulty Towers.

Apparently there were no bags big enough behind the counter and the woman at the counter was not allowed to leave the counter so the situation became gridlocked. The guy needed to leave to make an appointment but had no way of transporting the PC home. The women behind the counter had no way of contacting the one assistant that was on the shop floor. 


To make matters worse, the guy became even more incensed and animated when the women behind the counter asked him why he didn’t just bring his car. That was like adding paper doused in petrol to an overheated printer. Needless to say the guy went nuts. I had to interject with a bit of light humour to calm the situation down. 

Once the calm had been restored, the women behind the counter remained silent and refused to say another word, the other customers continued to try and talk to her. Things got awkward really quickly. You could see in her eyes that she was considering one of two things, either quitting her job or killing everybody around her. At this point I just slowly backed away.

I have been shopping with Currys for many years and this is the worst I have ever seen it. I am used to having to wait a little bit of time but this one took the biscuit. Is this a glimpse of the future for Currys or do you have a plan to curb experiences like this in the future.

I look forward to your response

Regards,

Sebastian Bowen.

Currys Response. 10/09/20

Dear Sebastian, 

Case Reference: CC2793321 

Thank you for your email dated 8th September 2015. I have been unable to locate a telephone number to contact you on. 

I am sorry to learn of your recent experience. Your complaint will be referred to the Manager of the Store in order that action can be taken to pursue this matter internally to ensure that other customers are not disappointed in the same way. Could you please advise which store you had visited. 

Every complaint that we receive is taken very seriously and investigated thoroughly, there are also occasions when aspects of feedback will be utilised to identify improvement opportunities, however, we are not obliged to share all our findings. 

Although it is a disappointment to hear from an unhappy customer, it is through feedback such as yours that we learn where we can improve our customer services. Please accept my apologies for the frustration and inconvenience caused as a result of this matter. 

Thank you for contacting Currys KNOWHOW™. 

Kind regards, 

Fares Sailan

My Response 17/06/2016

Hello Fares,

Thank you for responding to my email back in September.

Sorry for such a long delay in responding back to you. Ironic considering the subject matter in my first email. It was not my intention but I have been busy. I’m sure you of all people will understand. 

Currys Barnet


The store that I was referring to is in Barnet. they had me waiting around forever. I have recently returned to the store to find it better manned with staff. However the level of shared intellect or knowledge of products remains the same. It’s getting to the point where I feel I know more about the products than most of the staff do. Do you even have a training policy anymore?

On my last trip to Currys I wanted to buy some Thermal Paste to carry out some 

repairs on an old PlayStation 3. I already predicted before I entered the store that nobody was going to know what the hell I was talking about despite the fact it’s a common item when repairing most electronics. 

The first member of staff I asked told me to try B&Q across the road. The second member of staff said she had never heard of it and had a look on her face like I was lying or making the product up. In the end I searched the massive store for fifteen minutes and found it in a section next to the keyboards. Why? I have no idea. 

When I showed the two members of staff that I had indeed found what I was looking for, they just stared back at me gormlessly and appeared completely unfazed by the whole situation.

It’s still a stressful experience no matter what you go in the store to get. Quick and easy transactions are extremely rare.


Also is there any reason why I can never find compressed air in a can. It’s a great tool for cleaning dust out of electrical appliances. That should be an item you always have in stock, sitting next to items such as Thermal Paste in a section that is clearly marked PC repairs. But hey what do I know.

Thank you for your time, I look forward to your response.

Regards,

Sebastian Bowen. 

Awaiting response from Currys. 

Still waiting for a response from Currys. 


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Diversity

Posted: June 24, 2016 in ✏️ Art Work

In every company there are people who love a cup of tea or coffee. In every company somebody is responsible for buying the milk for those beverages. Milk is not free so everybody needs to donate. One man has made it his business to make sure you do, and his name is, The Soulless Bureaucrat, and these are his Sour Tales.

Hello All

Request for September funds.

This should also serve as a reminder that some of you have yet to pay for July and August.

I will make the October request later this month

Many of you will have seen notices promising ‘free’ tea and coffee via email and on notice boards.

None of these have made any mention of milk provision.

There was talk of free milk provision. So far this has proved to be nothing more than talk.

The milk fund members are a grim-hearted cabal for whom seeing-is-believing. We have long abandoned those hopes of sunlit uplands comprising free milk provision.

Milk thieving itself is becoming even more blatant. Whereas last month someone artfully cut a small hole in the bag to obtain access; this month someone just tore the bag open.

Having referred this case to CrimeWatch the following results have come back. We are looking at 2 distinct groups of thieves with very different psychological profile types. The first is skilful and calm under pressure (possibly also carries out safe-cracking in their spare time). The second is likely short-tempered and possessed of greater physical strength. The second personality type is likely to be furtive; have bulging psychotic eyes, and possibly does not tuck their shirt into their trousers correctly. Members of the Milk Fund are advised to avoid confronting the second personality type.

Unfortunately, the e-fit photograph was unclear: therefore an arrest and conviction are unlikely.

Note: It is important to re-tie the knot after use (ensuring that the bag covers the lid) as a means of preventing ‘milk pilfering’, which is the single greatest threat to milk solvency.

It is the duty of every milk club member to ensure the security of milk.

Some people have had difficulty in tying the carrier bag around the bottle in a secure way.

If this persists I may have to introduce a mandatory bag tying training seminar; failure to complete training may result in cancellation of membership.
Another threat to solvency is cereal eating.

The milk club is for the supplementation of hot beverages, only. Cereal eaters should buy their own milk separately or use water.

Kind regards,

The Soulless Bureaucrat.

I will continue to keep updating and adding new images over time. Make sure you check back for updates. 
    
    
    
    
 

  
This is one that really bothers me, because it’s something we all learn as children, but for some reason we don’t respect as adults. Too many times whether it be on the train or in other public spaces, some people don’t like to share seating space. For sake of this rant I am referring to public benches or train passenger seats. 
Let me give you a few examples. 

Scenario 1: The Seat Filler.

I board a busy train in the morning and look for a seat. Many people are standing up but I can still see random spaces. I look to see why people are not using any of the available seats and low and behold there are bags on them. 

 

Extreme case of chair filling

 
As if that wasn’t bad enough when I ask a person to move their bag, instead of apologising and moving it quickly, you have the audacity to look at me and scoff. it’s not like I have asked them to share their morning coffee with me or anything, JUST MOVE YOUR BAG! 

Scenario 2: The Bench Hogger.

I’m walking in the park or some other open public space. My legs eventually get tired and I decide that I want to sit down. I walk over to a bench that is easily able to seat two possibly three people easily, but some idiot has sat right in the middle of the bench. As he sees me approaching he makes no effort to slide along to either end. Please don’t be like this guy, he’s an idiot. In cases like these I will choose to sit as close to you as possible to make you feel uncomfortable and eventually obliged to move along. 

  

Extreme case of bench hogging

Scenario number 3: The Seat Blocker. 

I board a busy train looking for a seat. There are a few darted around but all appear to be the middle seat of a three seater, or a single seat next to the window. For some reason some adults don’t like to sit in these seats and they try to keep them vacant for their imaginary friends. When you see people desperate for a seat just MOVE DOWN! Don’t make me have to step over you and your bags like a poor mans obstacle course and attempt to acrobatically contort myself into the space. Either way I’m sitting down so you might as well make it easy for all of us instead of getting your feet crushed as I “accidentally” step on them to get in. 

When I am in an aisle seat an the window seat is vacant I shift across to the window seat making it easy for the person standing to sit in the aisle seat. This is logical behaviour. Don’t be an idiot and make people’s lives more stressful than it has to be. 

This is a key indicator to give up your seat.

Also I shouldn’t even need to type this, but shame on you if you’re one of those people who bows their heads and pretends not to notice the elderly person or a women wearing a baby on board badge when she is standing and waiting for a seat. Get up and stop being selfish.

We teach our children to move down to allow other children to sit down, so why do we throw away this logic when it comes to each other when we are adults. We all like to sit down at times but some of us make it more difficult for the others. The next time you’re sitting down and somebody else is standing check yourself and make sure you are not the reason why. 

 

In every company there are people who love a cup of tea or coffee. In every company somebody is responsible for buying the milk for those beverages. Milk is not free so everybody needs to donate. One man has made it his business to make sure you do, and his name is, The Soulless Bureaucrat, and these are his Sour Tales.

Hello All

Request for July and August funds.

Yes I’m making a request for calendar month of July and August funds. I’ll be making a request for September funds later this month.

I have been on annual leave intermittently throughout August so have not been able to send my usual email for July or August.

In my absence Pam once again stood in the breach to ensure milk was purchased.

Some of you have already paid for the month of July. Rest assured: my spreadsheet knows who you are.

A list of current milk club members can be emailed to you. Some of you are on the 2nd floor; some on the 3rd floor.

Please know that the Milk Fund is a fellowship of equal tea drinkers (and to a lesser extent: coffee drinkers)

Note: if you are a member of the milk fund you may partake of the milk on either floor.

E.g. imagine someone from the 2nd floor who finds themselves in the exotic and dizzying heights of the 3rd floor. Though they may find themselves amongst strangers they will find the Milk Fund’s warm embrace reaches them there.

Simply look for the bottle with the childish handwriting from a cheap biro on an even cheaper post-it note.

In other news: please do not screw the lid over the bag as this causes milk to leak into the bag,

 

This will result in termination of membership

 
Please refrain from doing this as it is disgusting.

Note: It is important to re-tie the knot after use (ensuring that the bag covers the lid) as a means of preventing ‘milk pilfering’, which is the single greatest threat to milk solvency.

In keeping with our ‘snitch-a-colleague’ scheme, please report suspected milk thieves to me. Whilst I won’t take any real action; a campaign of hissing and evil stares will be initiated against these people. This is intended to achieve nothing, other than making me feel slightly better.

It is the duty of every milk club member to ensure the security of milk.

Some people have had difficulty in tying the carrier bag around the bottle in a secure way.

Refer to my previous email for the instructional video demonstrating the correct way to do it. Failure to complete training will result in cancellation of membership.

Another threat to solvency is cereal eating.

The milk club is for drinkers of beverages, which require the addition of milk, only. Cereal eaters should buy their own milk separately or use water.

Regards,

The Soulless Bureaucrat.