Posts Tagged ‘#letterofcomplaint’


To whom it may concern at Nestle,

My name is Sebastian Bowen. I recently purchased one of your many delicious products this morning and was pleasantly surprised. Although I have been a fan of the brand for 32 years, I had never tried this particular product before from your fine selection of merchandise.

The particular product I am referring to is the Hazelnut KitKat Chunky Bar. Two syllables spring to mind, yum and me.

First of all let me congratulate you on the evolutionary and revolutionary design of the KitKat range. When other chocolate bar manufacturers went for a two finger bar, you guys knew from the beginning that four fingers are better than two. I tell my wife that all the time.

It was a genius decision, please continue to praise whoever came up with it. Even on the odd occasion when I do have a two finger KitKat, I always end up having two of them thus consuming four fingers anyway.

I have been aware for some time that you do produce a three finger bar, but unfortunately as of now it is still a myth to me, I am yet to come across it in any shop. If you could tell me where to locate one I would be very happy.

Since the launch of the Chunky KitKat in 1998 it has been a regular addition to my daily lunch box and has brought much joy to a variety of break times. Not since the 1920’s when KitKat was first launched has there been a more inspiring bar. One can only imagine the excitement amongst the people when the bar graced the shop shelves with its presence for the first time.

A good friend, and long-time pen pal of mine Yoshi E Honda, regularly teases me about the extreme variety of KitKats available to him in Japan. He claims that Japan has 200 flavours of KitKat but I told him that couldn’t possibly be true. Please can you clarify if this is true with a list, and if so why are they not available over here for us British consumers.

I managed to find some images on the internet (see at the bottom of the page) but it’s hard to believe anything you see on the internet. Yoshi said that in Japan you can have any flavour you like. It seems a little unfair. Proof is necessary, please confirm.

Anyhow the actual reason for my letter is two fold. Firstly I recently discovered that you have discontinued the Hazelnut version of the Chunky KitKat to allow the Mint version to flourish.

It’s my understanding that out of the four new flavours you presented to us, the Mint flavour was allegedly voted the best by the British public. But having spoken to many other KitKat fans like myself, I do believe this is a mistake.

The Hazelnut bar was the far superior bar out of the four flavours, followed closely by Chocolate Fudge.

Although the Mint is a nice addition, I feel there are other confectionary products on the market that already have this angle covered. Such snacks as After Eights and Aero which are both fine products that you already own and manufacture, have catered to the chocolaty mint loving section of society.

Mint winning was just a little too obvious and cliché, evidently chosen by people that were not KitKat connoisseurs like myself.

Anyway this ship has now sailed and there is nothing I can do about it. However I felt it was necessary to voice my opinion, and highlight your obvious mistake.

I digress to my second point. As stated in my email earlier I have long been a fan of the four fingered version of the KitKat and have enjoyed it countless times. However since the birth of the Chunky KitKat I have always been torn between the two.

One day whilst I was solving another one of the world’s problems I had another eureka moment. Why doesn’t KitKat produce a four fingered Chunky KitKat? It makes perfect sense. Also instead of the standard single flavour for each finger, instead each finger could be a different flavoured Chunky KitKat. What could be more awesome than that! The answer, quite simply, is nothing.

I believe this is a great idea, one that should be rushed to the board of directors immediately. An idea like this is a game changer and will propel profits so high that the CEO of Nestle will be sitting on his new luxury cruiser, sipping champagne whilst thinking to himself, recession, what recession?

If you do not choose to go forth with my invention that’s ok, I won’t take the news too harsh. Besides I have already commissioned a chef to put together a prototype of what the four fingered Chunky would look like. I am happy to send you an image of this providing you promise not to steal my design.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Keep up the good work.

Sebastian Bowen.

P.S here are the images I found please send confirmation.


Nestle Response

Hello Sebastian,

We are always pleased to hear from our consumers. At Nestle we have people who continuously work on testing, developing and evaluating new product ideas.

Before a new product is launched we carry out market research into the needs and requirements of our consumers and we record all the comments received. Sometimes ideas which appear to be new may already have been explored.

We are very sorry but we are unable to accept creative suggestions from outside the Company. However, we are still very grateful to you for spending so much time and effort on your idea.

Unfortunately we do not sell every flavour of KitKat here in the UK. We do a lot of research into our brands and have found that the consumers’ tastes vary a great deal between different countries and cultures.

There is a wide range of flavours of KitKats available in the Japanese market although I am afraid I cannot get hold of the full list of flavours for you. Although you could take a look at the Nestle Japanese website:

The KitKat team are constantly reviewing the range of flavours we offer in the UK and this includes looking at what is available in other markets.

I can assure you that your comments have been noted and will be highlighted to the KitKat team ready for future development meetings.
We are sorry you had this experience with one of our products and thank you for giving us the opportunity to comment on this matter.

Zoe Nudd

Contact Centre Executive, Consumer Services.

My Response

Hello Zoe,
Thank you for responding to my previous letter. In response to your letter I have a few points I would like to touch on.

You mentioned that market research is always done before the launch of a project. How can I become a part of this? I think I would be a valuable addition to the team. I believe that refusing to accept any ideas from outside the company is a really bad idea. Consumers are the best people to tell you what is right and what is wrong with the product or the brand.

It is disappointing that the UK has such a limited selection of KitKats compared to Japan especially when the UK is now a diverse mixture of people from all ethnic backgrounds. I am sure some of the pallets of the UK citizens would surprise you.

The link that you sent me (: is only helpful if you can read Japanese. Although I am learning, I am unable to read the webpage at this time. However I was able to find a website ( that highlights some of the many different flavours available over there.

To say that Japan has a little more flavours is like saying Dubai is a little hotter than London. It feels like the UK is miles behind in the evolution of the KitKat.

It looks like whoever was in charge of the decision making in the marketing team has been on a break for a very long time. I would like to offer my KitKat expertise to the marketing team as I believe I have a lot of ideas that could benefit customers in the UK. I would be happy to share those ideas with you on your request.

I hope that the KitKat will someday find a brighter future on British soil and become a much more diverse bar of chocolate than it currently is.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.


Sebastian Bowen

Nestle Response

Thank you very much for your reply.

Unusual flavours of KitKats sell abroad but there is not enough demand for it in this country at the moment. We do a lot of research into our brands and have found that consumer’s tastes vary a great deal between different countries and cultures.

To have your ideas shared with the company you may be interested to know we have a Consumer Panel. The Consumer Panel is a database of consumers that we may contact on a regular basis asking for their input and idea regarding new product concepts or changes to established products.
If you would like to join our Consumer Panel, please complete the following survey by using this link:

I have also contacted the KitKat Brand team and let them know of the comments you have raised in both of your previous letters.

We hope this information will be helpful and thank you for your interest and loyalty to our products.

Yours sincerely,

Zoe Nudd
Contact Centre Executive, Consumer Services.

My Response

Hello Zoe,
Thank you once again for responding to my letter.

I am aware that different countries have different tastes but I am not sure that the British public are even aware that some of these flavours exist. How can they possibly know what they want if they have never been shown what is available. It sounds a little unfair to me.

I think next year’s Halloween would be a great time to test some new or strange flavours on the British public. Tomfoolery is widely accepted around that time of year.

Thank you for informing me of the Consumer Panel, I have signed myself up and I am awaiting the next stage. I think it will be fun to share some of my favourite ideas.

How exciting would it be if they decided to go ahead and make my Jamaican Jerk Chicken flavour or Strawberry and Mango flavour? That would be awesome!

I am glad to hear that my ideas have been passed onto the KitKat Brand Team. I am sure they will appreciate what I have done. I assume that they will not rip off my ideas. If I see any of my flavours out on sale I will of course expect you to send me a cheque in the post. I hate to be hard on you but times are hard for everybody at the moment.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,


Sebastian Bowen.

Awaiting Response


To whom it may concern at Evian,

I have been buying Evian for many years and find your product innocent refreshing and delicious. Since my first experience when I first tasted the sweet sweet comfort of the South of France minerals I have been a big fan of your liquidy treat.

At one point in my life I became totally obsessed with your water and I was spending anywhere in the region of £100 – £150 a week on Evian. I used to cook with it, clean with it, wash with it. I found it to be a great solution for acne relief and other skin irritations.

I still currently use Evian to water my plants and hydrate my three cats, H, Two & O. The cats really love it; they genuinely look healthier every day. I would be happy to send you images of them if you are interested in seeing the results of many years of adequate hydration. Maybe pets could be a new market that you guys could break into I’m sure other pet owners would agree.

Anyhow, the reason for my letter is to highlight something you may or may not be aware of. It was something that a friend of mine pointed out to me one day when the two of us were in the back garden relaxing and drinking Evian. All of a sudden Tony shouts out Oh no! And then begins to laugh hysterically. After what felt like an eternity he was able to wipe his tears away and compose himself.

He stated the reason why he was laughing was because Evian spelt backwards was Naive and I was stupid for believing it. I didn’t want to admit it at first but he was right. It was written on the bottle plain as day. I tried to defend Evian by telling him that in 1829 Mr Cachat first started bottling the water from the Sainte Catherine spring Evian-les-Bains, France, the same fresh pure spring water that has been used in every bottle across the globe.

I told him that it has been recognised as having medicinal qualities and has helped many people all over the world. This only made him laugh even harder. He said the water represented a true reflection of how naive people are today then he continued to laugh some more.

Tony said he is positive that all this water comes from some tap in England somewhere, where they treat it with chemicals to give it a unique taste. He then proceeded to take out his laptop and show me some damaging evidence on YouTube.

I told him this was all nonsense and completely fabricated of course but he kept insisting that I had become blind to the truth.

After he finished laughing for the third time I asked him to leave, however the damage had been done. I couldn’t help but think maybe he was right. Maybe this water does not come from France like I have always been led to believe. Now that I think about it I don’t know anybody that has been to that part of France for a holiday or has even mentioned it before on their travels. It’s strange that such a magical place with one of earth’s life sources is not publicised or visited more often. I have now added it to my top ten places to visit before the end of the year.

Anyway please could you help me shut Tony up and confirm that Evian is and always has come from a spring in France and not a tap in England? Just to be on the safe side I will refrain from drinking anymore Evian until I have your response.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours Sincerley

Sebastian Bowen.


Everybody has a horrible neighbour you don’t trust and would be happy to see leave the area. A few weeks ago I received this poorly written hand delivered letter in the mail.

It took me five minutes alone just to stop laughing at the way they spelled the word neighbour.

Dear nayba

My name is Jan from number 14. My son James will be doing a sponsered walk to raise awarenes for a charatee

His 2 mile walk will be taking place on the 17th of this month (next week) on the common. If you would like to sponsa his walk per mile or as a 1 amount please rite down the amount on this letta and return it to number 14.

Give whateva you can it does not have to be a lot a couple of quid will do.


My Response

Hi Jan,

Firstly let me congratulate you on finally motivating your son to do something with his life other than terrorising the neighbourhood. I am glad to hear he is putting his energy into more positive endeavours these days. There may be hope for him yet.

Unfortunately I will not be able to sponsor a donation on this occasion due to the fact your son still owes me money for vandalising the back of my property.

On another note two miles is not a distance that I would consider a challenge, I walk up to five miles a day just to and from work.

You also failed to mention any specific charity which is odd considering you are trying to raise awareness for it. So I can only assume that both the charity and the walk are imaginary and all proceeds will end up in either yours or James’s back pocket.

Also is there any reason why James did not take the time to write the letter himself. The way it reads gives the impression that James is a child. Although he may act like one most of the time, that’s just an unfortunate side effect of your parenting skills.

I wish you all the best of luck in the future your friendly neighbour at number 8.

Jans Response

Dear nayba,

How dare you fuckin talk about my son like that. James ain’t done nothing to your property. He may have ad some troubles in the past but he has calmed down a lot now. I am a great mom and I have raised him and my others to have respec for peeple. We all make mistakes in life nobody is perfect.

The charity is real and so is the walk. If you dont want to sponsa him you could have just said no instead of being a dickhead.


My Response

Hi Jan,

I am sorry that the truth hurts and your vision is so blurry. The troubles in the past that you speak of were just last week. On Tuesday on my return from work I witnessed James and a group of fellow idiots trying set fire to a letter box.

The only reason why he may appear to have calmed down from time to time is because you are witnessing the sweet satisfying effects of marijuana. If you want him to remain calm I suggest you keep him medicated.

It is true we all make mistakes in life and in your case it was your son James. But at some point you need to learn from those mistakes, but you didn’t you carried on and made four more children. I pray they turn out to be better human beings than their predecessor.

Anyway wish you all the best for the future from your happy neighbour at number 8.

Late that night I received this note in the mail

Your a fuckin idiot you betta watch your back.

My Response

Hi Jan,

I can only assume due to the similar poor use of grammar that this last note came from your residence. I just wanted to point out that it is impossible to watch your own back but I will keep it in mind.

I assume James did the walk on Tuesday how did he get on. I tried to show support by turning up at the common but the groundskeeper said there were no scheduled sponsored walks that day. I must have went to the wrong place.

Jans Response

Fuck you!!

To the delight of everybody in the neighbourhood the family were evicted two weeks later due to rent arrears.


To whom it may concern at Twix,

I have been eating your delicious product since I was a wee young boy. I want you to know it is regarded as one of my top five snacks of all time. (I will not divulge the ranking order or names of the other four) I mean what’s not to like? Chocolate, biscuit and caramel, sounds like pure heaven to any taste buds.

Recently however I saw an advert on TV involving the Twix brothers rebooting the origin story of how Twix was invented, very interesting. Although the advert was fascinating and well directed, I couldn’t help but come away from it a little perplexed.

I have personally always preferred my Twix to be Caramel Chocolate and Cookie/Biscuit. But now with this reinvention of the new left hand side Twix being cookie/biscuit, caramel, and chocolate it has put asomewhat complication in my day.

After tasting, I am not a fan of the left hand Twix finger and I am unable to find a pack with just two right hand fingers inside. Although the two bars are very similar I think you would have to agree that the order and timing of when such ingredients are added to a product can make a significant difference in taste.

Most of my friends and family think that I am crazy, but I have been eating Twix as far back as I can remember, and I can clearly taste the difference between the two fingers.

Besides that my wife is getting annoyed with all the left hand sided Twix fingers I keep leaving in the fridge. Unfortunately she has a condition that does not allow her to digest chocolate so it builds up inside her and causes her to have unbearable flatulence. Easter can be horrid time of year for us.

With so much waste in the world I can’t bring myself to just throw them away so they are building up in the fridge. Occasionally Audrey the cleaner will take a couple during the midweek clean, but I buy up to three Twix’s a day so the pile of unwanted left hand fingers are becoming a problem.

Would it be possible to produce the original bar with two fingers of the original flavour in the order that I like (Caramel, Chocolate and Cookie/Biscuit) to cater for people like myself?That way I can buy the snack that I have come to love over the years and the new customers can have the choice of both,the old style with two fingers exactly the same or the new version that you produce with two separate flavours. That way everybody is happy.

I know that this would raise the cost of production, but I feel it is a small price to pay to keep your loyal existing customers happy.

I must go now but I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Keep up the good work,

Yours Sincerely,

Sebastian Bowen.

On 4 Jun 2013, at 10:15, CONTACT@UK.MARS.COM wrote:

Dear Sebastian,

Thanks for getting in touch about the difference between the left and right Twix.

The difference between the left and right Twix dates back to a historical time. When the inventors Edward and Edwin unveiled their Twix bar, the tension between them reached breaking point, literally. Neither would relinquish control. So they did the logical thing and divided the company.

To start all over again, Edward went as far away as possible. Edwin carefully designed a monument to his individuality, while Edward meticulously created a monument to his individuality.

Each man found his former partner’s factory, well, a little pedestrian. The factories took very different approaches. Left Twix lavished caramel on biscuit while right Twix topped biscuit with caramel. Left Twix then covered it in chocolate while right Twix smothered it in chocolate.

Both bars as different as the people who invented them. And to this day, they share nothing but a wrapper and an ill-designed driveway.

We hope that helps clear up any confusion.

Once again, thanks for contacting us and don’t hesitate to get in touch about anything to do with our products and brands.

Kind regards,

Lauren Bennett

Consumer Care Team


Hello Lauren,

Thank you for responding to my email in a timely fashion. Much appreciated. However your email only retold me the story from the advert which I am more than familiar with.

Will Twix be making a bar with two right hand bars in the order of caramel chocolate biscuit to satisfy my needs or do I need to keep throwing away all the left hand bars.

Thank you,

Sebastian Bowen.

On 5 Jun 2013, at 09:15, CONTACT@UK.MARS.COM wrote:

Dear Sebastian,

Thanks for getting back in touch about our Twix bars.

We currently have no plans to introduce a pack which replaces left Twix with right Twix to give two right Twix in a pack.

Once again, thanks for contacting us and don’t hesitate to get in touch about anything to do with our products and brands.

Kind regards,

Chris Burgess


Hello Chris,

Thank you for replying to my email so quickly. What happened to Lauren? Should I be worried, I hope she is alright.

It is disappointing that Twix will not produce a pack with two right Twix bars in the same pack. If this is the case could you please enlighten me on the following question; The single bars that are in the multipacks that you get from the supermarkets, is that a right hand bar or a left hand bar? This could potentially solve all my problems Chris.

Look forward to your response.

Thank you,

Sebastian Bowen.

On 5 Jun 2013, at 13:15, CONTACT@UK.MARS.COM wrote:

Dear Sebastian,

Thanks for getting back in touch about our Twix bars.

Left Twix lavishes caramel on biscuit while right Twix tops biscuit with caramel. Left Twix then covers biscuit in chocolate while right Twix smothers biscuit in chocolate.

To see if the Twix bar in your single finger multipack is a left or right Twix please look at whether the bar has been covered or smothered in chocolate. I hope this helps clear up any confusion.

Once again, thanks for contacting us and don’t hesitate to get in touch about anything to do with our products and brands.

Kind regards,

Chris Burgess
Consumer Care Team


Hi Chris,

Once again thank you for your speedy response.

I am still worried about the lack of response from or mention of Lauren from the previous email. Is she ok?

At first I thought you may have solved my problem. I went to the local supermarket a brought a multipack. I opened the first one to see if it was covered in chocolate or smothered in chocolate. The first one was obviously covered in chocolate which was no good to me so I ended up giving it to the friendly homeless man who sits outside the supermarket. He seemed quite happy with it.

The next one I opened was on the bus, and to my delight it was smothered in chocolate so I devoured it in seconds. I enjoyed it so much I felt like having another so I opened the another one but to my dismay it was yet another chocolate covered bar. It was at this point that I realised that my problem had not been resolved in any way. I must admit Chris it was a great idea but now I feel like I am back to square one.

Please help me!

If I can not resolve this soon, reluctantly I think I will have to switch to another two fingered snack like Twirl or Drifter. I hope that day never comes.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you,

Sebastian Bowen.